Fire Isiah Watch

Okay, lets review: As of this writing, the Knicks have won 8 games and lost 22. Isiah Thomas is both the General Manager and the Coach of the team; he has acquired every single player on the roster, and guided them to their current state of indifference. Most of the Knicks’ losses have been blowouts, including a near-50-point loss to the Celtics. Oh, and just for good measure: Isiah was found by a federal court this summer to have sexually harassed an employee, forcing the Knicks’ organization to pay $11.5 million in damages.

Two weeks ago, Thomas said it would be fair to evaluate him as a coach after two weeks. Time’s up – the Knicks have won a single game in that two-week evaluation period, and lost five. Yesterday, Isiah declared that he was happy with the “direction” of the team, so he’d be staying on as coach.

All of this reminds me of a story about the famous early-Twentieth Century attorney, Clarence Darrow. According to legend, during a trial Darrow would smoke a cigar (in the courtroom!) while he was delivering his summation to the jury. He would consciously refuse to tap off the ash that was collecting on the end of the cigar as it burned down, thus forming an improbably long segment of ash that looked like it would fall to the floor at any moment. The jury would be riveted, unable to take their eyes off of Darrow’s cigar-chomping mouth. It turns out he actually lined each cigar with a thin wire, which held up the ash. Or so the story goes.

Like that jury, all of us Knicks fans are waiting for Isiah’s ash to fall. How does he keep it up? How has he not been fired yet? There must be some kind of trick, like Darrow’s wire.

Here’s another analogy: remember how Wile E. Coyote used to be lured off a cliff by the Roadrunner? He’d hang there in mid air, defying gravity, and hold up a sign that read “Help.” That’s Isiah right now, hanging in mid air. Please, please let him fall.