Civil Fan

Change We Need: D'Antoni/Walsh

2008-10-30T09:36:00.003-04:00

Rooting for a losing team -- particularly one that loses for an extended period of time, say, six years -- gives you perspective. Phoenix Suns fans watch their team win nearly 60 games each year and go deep into the playoffs, but lament the lack of a championship. When your team is a long-time loser, you'd trade places with the Suns any day of the week.

Because what good teams have, whether they win a championship or not, is hope. A legitimate hope that they might win, which keeps their fans going all year long. They may feel real pain at the end, but it's a blood pumping, heart pounding kind of pain. They still believe they could have won it all. We Knicks fans, for the last six years, have been stripped of all hope. We knew our team stunk, couldn't win and -- worst of all -- had no prospects for the future. The season was a yawn-filled excercise in finding other things to do than watch games.

But last night, our fortunes changed. Not just because we won our season opener, or because I think we have a chance to win a championship or even go deep into the playoffs this year, but because we once again have hope for the future. Surly Stephon Marbury and Eddy Curry sat on the bench while our youngsters put up 120 breathless points and held on for a win. If this group of Knicks matures, and Donnie Walsh adds a few pieces, who knows how far they can go? Hope is a powerful thing. I'm a fan again.

George Steinbrenner + Roger Clemens = Hank Steinbrenner?

2008-10-13T10:26:00.005-04:00

Stupid? Probably. Juvenile? Definitely. But come on -- look at the pictures. There must be some connection.

Life is Like Baseball . . . and Also Life

2008-09-16T09:03:00.003-04:00

As I watch my beloved Mets choke away another September, I try to keep it all in perspective. Sure, the Mets are on their way to frittering another playoff berth that seemed all but assured just a few weeks ago. Just like last year's colossal and embarrassing implosion. But it could be worse, right? We could be the Milwaukee Brewers, who look like they're also about to choke away a second consecutive postseason. And they haven't even sniffed the playoffs since 1982. The Mets have been in the World Series twice in that time, winning the whole thing once.

Or we could be the Chicago Cubs. They look good this year, for sure, but if they don't win the World Series, it will mark their 100th year in a row of futility. That's pretty heavy.

On the other hand, we could be the Yankees. They look mediocre right now, but it sure would be nice to have 27 World Series flags up in our stadium. Or the Red Sox, who won two of the last four world championships, and are pretty much guaranteed another playoff run. Or even the Florida Marlins, who have no money and no fans but have somehow won the World Series Twice since they first came into being in 1993.

So that's what I mean about life being like baseball: once you start comparing yourself to others, there are always some folks better off than you, and some folks who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Of course, this theory does not account for Yankee fans. They, presumably, don't want to change places with anyone. But that doesn't mean every Yankee fan is happy, right? They may have lousy jobs or unhappy marriages or receding hairlines. So maybe they would like to trade places with other people. Maybe some Milwaukee Brewers fans, even.

Which leads me to my second point: life may be like baseball, but really, most of all, it's like life. There are always people who seem better off than you, and other people who'd take your place if they could. Maybe even a Yankee fan. Now that's perspective.

When a Win is Not a Win

2008-08-11T12:28:00.003-04:00

I'm not saying I feel sorry for Johan Santana. I won't go that far. The star pitcher is in the first year of a six-year, $137.5 million contract with the New York Mets, so it isn't as if he's wondering where his next meal is coming from. On the other hand, Santana has pitched brilliantly for the Mets this year -- his 2.85 earned run average is among the best in baseball -- but he has only a pedestrian win-loss record of 9-7.

The reason for this discrepancy between Santana's sparkling performance and modest record is that six times already this year -- six times! -- Santana has left a game with his team in the lead, but then the bullpen has come in and lost the lead in the late innings. Major League Baseball's rule on whether a pitcher is credited with a win or not is iron-clad: a starting pitcher gets the win if he pitches at least five innings, leaves with a lead and the lead holds up until the end of the game. There are no exceptions. Not infrequently, this creates an absurd result. For example, Santana recently pitched eight nearly-flawless innings, leaving the game just before the ninth inning with a 3-1 lead. In came relief pitcher Aaron Heilman, who promptly surrendered two runs in the ninth inning to tie the score at 3. The Mets won the game in the bottom of the ninth on a two-run home run, but Santana was ineligible to get the win: his 3-1 lead had evaporated in the top of the ninth, so he was credited with a cruel "no decision." Even more cruel, Aaron Heilman, the stiff who nearly lost the game for the Mets, was given the official win, because he was the pitcher still in the game when the Mets rallied in the ninth and cleaned up his mess.

It seems obvious, at least to me, that Santana deserved the win in that game. So why can't he be credited with it? Baseball's hard-line rule should be replaced with something more fair: a rule that allows a starting pitcher who pitches five-plus innings and leaves with a lead to be credited with a win if his team does in fact win the game, whether the bullpen squanders that original lead in the process or not. It's not that difficult, people. A rule like this would leave Santana with a record of 15-7, not 9-7, a much better reflection of how he's pitched this year. And then he could sleep much better at night, knowing he's gotten a fair deal. Just in case his bed full of money isn't comfortable enough.

The Problem with Soccer

2008-07-01T10:06:00.003-04:00

Let me start by saying that I really like soccer, and I think it has all the makings of a popular American sport: speed, skilled athletes, explosive goal scoring, dramatic penalty kicks. Hordes of kids in this country play soccer, and once you play it you can't help but appreciate it. Heck, in places like England they riot over soccer games! Sure, there's the occasional zero-zero tie, but you can no more complain about that kind of game than you can complain about a pitchers' duel in baseball. And in international play, like the recent Euro Championships, you get shootouts at the end of tie games, which are thrilling in a very American, winner-take-all kind of way.

No, the problem with soccer, I believe, is that the structure of championships makes no sense to our American way of thinking. In baseball, the season culminates in the playoffs and the World Series. Basketball ends with playoffs and the Finals as well. Many people, myself included, think the season in these sports goes on for a ridiculous length -- baseball, that summer game, these days often begins and ends in snow -- but at least there's a simple logic to the arc of a season. In soccer, there really is no discernable season at all.

I'll explain. I follow D.C. United, a team within the U.S.'s top soccer league, Major League Soccer. We're at the mid-point in MLS' season right now, and just as I'm getting really interested and my team is sporting a four game win streak, the league takes a month long break. And for what? To play a tournament called "Superliga" that has nothing at all to do with MLS, in which the top four American teams play the top four Mexican teams. Huh? And if that isn't bad enough, many of MLS' best players are constantly being pulled from their teams to play for the United States in qualifying games for the World Cup, which by the way doesn't even start until two years from now, in a sub-World Cup tournament called "Concacaf". Huh again? Oh, and there's also something called the Lamar Hunt Cup, in which MLS teams compete with non-MLS American teams for some kind of amateur American non-MLS championship. Say it with me: Huh?

The whole thing is too darn confusing. Tournaments layered over each other, some of which are related to each other and some which stand alone. It's just too much for this American sports brain to follow. What's that you say, D.C. United won a Superliga match? They must be champs now, right? Oh wait, they're only in second place in the MLS Eastern Division. And they've got a Lamar Hunt match against some amateur club team from Pittsburgh next weekend. The whole thing is mystifying. By the time they play for the MLS championship, they've already won or lost in three other tournaments. Where do they stand?

So here's my proposal: MLS should play one continuous, short season, no breaks, with a championship at the end. At least we'd be able to follow it, and it would have some meaning: champs of their league. Then they could go on to Superliga or Lamar Hunt or Concacaf or whatever, and we American soccer fans could happily ignore it all.

And one other thing: I think soccer should reclaim the name "Football" from that other sport that currently uses the name. I mean, come on people: in soccer, the players use their feet. In American football, they mostly throw or carry the ball, all with their hands. It would be like calling baseball "Double Play Ball," or calling basketball "Bounce Pass Ball." Sure it happens, but is kicking really the focus of American football? It's just plain silly. Plus, if soccer adopted the name football, maybe some Americans would watch it by mistake. I bet if they gave it a chance, they'd like it.

Give it Up for George Mason

2008-03-21T15:29:00.002-04:00

Two years ago, George Mason University made its name as the longshot of all longshots, the Cinderella of all Cinderellas, when it came from nowhere to land in the Final Four of the NCAA basketball tournament. During that unparalleled run for a "mid-major" team, GMU beat, among others, a UConn team in the round of 8 that boasted four first-round picks in the NBA draft a few months later.

No such magic for the GMU Patriots this year, as they fall to Notre Dame 68-50 in the opening round. But the Little School That Could continues to impress: early in the game, the CBS cameras focused on a fan holding a hand-lettered sign. It was the best sign I've ever seen at the tournament (and I've watched a lot of games). It said:

"George Mason is This Year's George Mason"

The legend lives on.

March Sadness

2008-03-03T10:22:00.001-05:00

Nothing divides me more – splits me right down the middle, in fact – than college basketball. Like the month of March itself, I roar like a lion at the sheer excitement of the NCAA basketball tournament, but I weep like a lamb at the sheer injustice of the college basketball system.

On the one hand, the NCAA tournament is, in my opinion, sports’ best moment. Every team can win, every game is an elimination game and therefore matters, the fans and players genuinely care. Nearly every year there is a “Cinderella” team, from Villanova in 1985 to George Mason in 2006. So many of the games come down to the wire, to a final shot on the last possession of the game. If March Madness doesn’t get your adrenaline flowing, then, as a sports fan, you’re dead inside.

On the other hand, big-time Division I college basketball is the most egregious exploiter of young people in sports. Fewer than half of these “student-athletes” actually graduate and a tiny fraction of them ever get a chance to play professional ball. Which means that a majority of the players simply leave after four years of generating obscene profits for their schools, no diploma in hand, prohibited by strict NCAA rules from seeing even a nickel of that hard-earned money themselves. They are four years older, nothing more. God forbid they have accepted a few free tickets during their time working without pay for their University – then they are not only used but ostracized. It’s a sickening, self-serving system.

With any luck, the NBA’s developmental league will someday grow to be a ubiquitous network of teams, like major league baseball’s minor league system. At least in that model, a high school kid with talent has a choice of taking a college scholarship or heading right to work as a professional, where he can earn a living – albeit a modest one – while still pursuing his pro sports dream. It’s not a perfect system but it’s better than basketball. Leave the NCAA tournament for kids who want to be in school. Build the minor leagues. I promise I’ll watch both.

Fire Isiah Watch, Part III

2008-02-14T10:03:00.004-05:00

My five-year-old daughter, Maggie, has a tooth that is hanging on by a thread. It twists and bleeds and sticks out at a grotesque angle, and much of our conversation at home revolves around the question of when her tooth may fall out. I'd love to just reach into her mouth and yank it, but Maggie won't hear of it.

In a related note, the Knicks are now 15-37. The players are in open mutiny. Isiah Thomas sounds alternatingly depressed and deranged. In other words, Thomas is hanging on by a thread, twisting and bleeding and looking utterly grotesque. Message to Jim Dolan, clueless owner of the Knicks: reach in and yank.

Fire Isiah Watch, Part II

2008-02-03T17:33:00.001-05:00

I had a conversation with my seven-year-old daughter, Josie, earlier this week about blame. Specifically, I pointed out to her that when something bad happens, and she undeniably has a hand in it, she tends to blame her sister, Maggie. For example, there was the drawing-on-the-rug incident: both Josie and Maggie scribbled all over their bedroom rug with markers, and both tried to cover it up (literally) afterward. Josie's comment, which she thought would exonerate her, was that "it was Maggie's idea." I explained that just because her sister, who is two years younger, has a sinister idea, Josie need not act on it. I didn't trot out the old "if Maggie told you to jump off the Empire State Building" line, but I was tempted. I wanted her to recognize that she's the decision-maker for her own actions, for good or bad.

What does all this have to do with Isiah Thomas? The New York Post quoted Thomas a couple of days ago as follows: "Thomas essentially blamed this season's disaster on not having stability at the point [guard position]." Interesting, considering Thomas was the general manager who traded for surly, underachieving point guard Stephon Marbury. Remember, the guy who went AWOL from the team and threatened Thomas, and then he came back and Thomas put him back in the lineup despite the fact that the rest of the team unanimously voted against him playing? (They lost that game, by the way.)

Thomas is also the genius who acquired backups Fred Jones, Nate Robinson and Mardy Collins. None of whom, apparently, is the answer for the "instability at the point," now that Marbury is out for the season. But of course none of this is Thomas' fault, just like it wasn't his fault earlier in the season when the players, according to him, weren't playing hard enough. Or the Knicks current 14-33 record -- that couldn't possibly be his fault either.

Is it just me, or does it seem like Isiah keeps drawing on the rug, and Knicks' owner Jim Dolan keeps excusing it as being someone else's idea?

Napoleon Blownapart: Why I Don't Watch Football

2008-01-22T11:32:00.000-05:00

I stopped watching football on September 5, 1994. It was a Monday Night Football game, the Oakland Raiders against the San Francisco 49ers, and Raiders running back Napoleon McCallum had just been handed the ball. Then, this happened:

"I got the ball and just tried to run through the middle, and the whole line was stopped up," McCallum recalls. "There was a big pile and I tried to go forward, and (49ers linebacker) Ken Norton had my shoulders and he was trying to pull me back. I'm pushing forward, and he's pulling me back and something gave, and that was my knee."
It was a gruesome sight, and a worldwide audience witnessed it over and over on instant replay: McCallum's left knee had been contorted so badly that his lower leg looked to be dangling by a thread. Blood was quite visible.
McCallum says he didn't feel pain until he was in the ambulance that took him to a hospital. When he arrived, doctors gave the diagnosis: dislocated knee, ruptured artery, three of four ligaments damaged.
(from the Las Vegas Review-Journal)

In a word, it was hideous. McCallum nearly lost his leg. Football, the sport I loved to watch as a kid, became for me like a horror movie: at any moment something stomach-turningly gory could happen. Or worse, it was like watching olympic figure skating, waiting for the inevitable missed an axel or caught edge that would send the skater sprawling to the ice. It jangled my nerves.

I want to be clear that it's not a moral thing: I have nothing against football, any more than I do against boxing or hockey fights. Lots of people like a little violence in their sports, and the professional athletes who play those sports are handsomely compensated for their risks. I just choose, along with three or four other sports fans nationwide, to watch the Australian Open instead of the NFC Championship game, in the same way that I would pick to watch Old School over Halloween.

But I'll watch the Superbowl, of course. I may be a pacifist, but I'm also an American. Though I'm only watching it for the commercials, I swear.

Baseball’s Betrayals and the Fans that Forgive

2008-01-11T14:24:00.000-05:00

It sounds morbid, I’m sure, but really this is about hope. Or perspective, anyway.

For many fans, the Mitchell Report has cast a pall over the last decade or so of baseball. We feel a little bit embarrassed, or at least naïve, when we remember how with stars in our eyes we watched Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa trade home runs en route to their record-setting 1998 Season. Or how a batch of pitchers we watched grow up reached the magical plateau of 300 wins. Or how any number of ordinary ballplayers blossomed into heroic sluggers. The walk-off home runs. The no-hitters. Since the Mitchell Report, we’ve had to rethink the relevance of all of these events in a game whose appeal largely resides in its history and continuity and notable feats. Many of the moments we’ve celebrated as fans now seem tainted, fraught, like Barry Bonds’ chase of the career home run record.

I’m not saying that we’re going to stay away from the ballparks or stop buying jerseys, because few of us will, not enough to make a dent. Baseball will roll along, robust as ever, pulling in gate receipts and television ratings. But we fans have lost our innocence. A large chunk of our formative baseball years will forever be the “steroid era,” and every record will have an asterisk attached, at least in our minds.

But let’s not get carried away. Baseball has let us down before, and in time we’ve come to forgive, if not forget. In fact, I can think of five instances in which baseball betrayed us – the fans – more profoundly than in the recent steroids scandal. In each of these cases, baseball recovered and flourished; but more importantly, in each case, the fans eventually came to realize that it was okay to love a flawed pastime, warts and all. In other words, the Mitchell Report too shall pass.

Here are baseball’s earlier miscues, in chronological order:

1. The Chicago Black Sox Scandal (1919). Eight members of the heavily-favored Chicago White Sox, most famously including “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, took bribes from gamblers and intentionally lost the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds, five games to three. Jackson, who batted .408 in 1911 (his rookie season!) and had a career average of .356, would have been a first-ballot Hall of Famer. Instead, after admitting his involvement in the scandal he was banned from baseball for life, and from the Hall of Fame forever. Since his death in 1951, Jackson has been revived as a mythical baseball figure. In the movie Eight Men Out, he was played by cherub-faced heartthrob D. B. Sweeney.

2. The Brooklyn Dodgers move to Los Angeles (1957). For my father and his Brooklyn buddies, the Dodgers relocation to L.A., only two years after Jackie Robinson stole home and the Bums beat the hated rival Yankees in the World Series, is remembered to this day as the worst thing that ever happened. “The beginning of the decline of Western Civilization” my dad will mutter, shaking his head gravely and sighing. Brooklyn fans swore off baseball for several years, but now many of them root for the Mets.

3. Donnie Moore’s Suicide (1989). Donnie Moore was a pretty good relief pitcher for the Cubs, Cardinals, Brewers, Braves and Angels, with a career E.R.A. of 3.67. In his last stop, though, in 1986, he gave up a go-ahead home run to Dave Henderson of the Red Sox in the ninth inning with the Angels only one strike away from going to the World Series. To add insult to injury, he then gave up the winning run in the eleventh inning, and the Angels lost the next two games to lose the series. Moore battled depression, alcoholism and drug addiction over the next three years, and then shot his wife (she survived) in front of their three children, before turning the gun on himself. And people think Bill Buckner had it rough.

4. Pete Rose’s Bets (1989). Pete Rose was literally the original “Charlie Hustle,” the great American story of an athlete who squeezed every ounce of skill from his body through sheer grit and determination. A local Cincinnati kid who made his mark with the hometown Reds, Rose is the all-time leader in hits (4,256) and games played (3,562). Then in 1989, in the face of accusations that he bet on baseball – including Reds games in which he was playing and managing -- he reached a settlement with Major League Baseball banning him from the game. He still claims to be innocent, though, but if you’ve ever seen him talk, he looks drunk, or deranged, or just plain tired.

5. The Strike of 1994. Amid alleged declining revenues, Major League Baseball and its players squabbled over a salary cap and other labor proposals in 1994, until the players went out on strike on August 12th. The strike lasted until April 2, 1995 – 232 days -- and necessitated cancellation of the end of the 1994 season, the playoffs and the World Series. Not even World War II caused the World Series to be cancelled. The poor Montreal Expos, having their best season in history at 74-40 when the games stopped, never reached the World Series and have since been sold and moved to Washington. (If I lived in Montreal, I’d still be pissed, and I’d be exclusively watching hockey. Although the NHL went on strike in 2004 (actually it was an owners’ lockout), and the entire 2004-05 season was cancelled. So I guess it sucks to be Quebecquois.) Baseball regained its former popularity in 1998, when steroid-infused sluggers Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa both broke Roger Maris’ single-season home run record. Hmmm.

Reading: A Nice Diversion from Sports

2008-01-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

Ups and downs are part of being a devoted fan. Sometimes you win, goes the platitude, and sometimes you lose. But there are days, or even stretches, when it feels like the sports gods have it in for you.

Here’s my perfect storm of sports misery: the Mets lose. The Yankees win. The Charlotte Bobcats lose. The Knicks lose, but still somehow fail to fire Isiah Thomas. Kobe Bryant scores 170 points and the Lakers win. My greatest sports-love of all – the Wesleyan Cardinals, the teams of my alma mater – fail to make the New England Small College Athletic Conference playoffs in any sport. I lose two sets of tennis to my friend Chuck.

My world is collapsing. I can’t read the newspaper or watch TV, because all the sports headlines mock me. I can’t take a long therapeutic walk because my knees ache. So what do I do? How can I pass the time until my teams have a chance to right the ship?

With shaking hands and leaking eyes I reach for – I’m desperate, mind you – a book. Yes, I remember these clever devices, I say to myself, filled with pages and pages of words but blessedly no mention of the Mets or Isiah Thomas or the backhands I hit into the net. I’ll need to find something that really holds my attention, of course, something just right. If I do, I’ll lose myself in that book, and for a few glorious hours the gut-wrenching world of the teams I love will be miles away.

Sometimes, even though sports are the cause of my grief, I’m drawn to sports-related books anyway. I recently read David Maraniss’ biography of Roberto Clemente, which I found completely engrossing. In one great nugget, Maraniss mentions that Clemente only showered in luke-warm water – chickens are de-feathered in scalding hot water, Clemente reasoned, so he imagined too-hot water would make his hair fall out.

Another of my favorites is Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby, a hilarious recounting of his obsession with soccer (football if you’re anyone but an American). Hornby’s explanation of his and his buddies’ superstitious ritual, performed before each match of the local Cambridge football club, in which they decapitated chocolate bears and threw them under the wheels of oncoming cars made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt.

Sometimes I need stronger medicine: fiction. Book of Illusions by Paul Auster is a particular favorite, one that really transported me. Another is Martin Dressler by Steven Millhauser. Or anything by Elizabeth McCracken, or T.C. Boyle, or Jonathan Lethem.

Maybe these people should be my heroes. These great writers should be the folks who inspire me, whose movements I follow, whose achievements I celebrate. Maybe . . . what’s that? The Bobcats are up six with four minutes left? Gotta go.

Nostalgia Beat: Old School Fantasy Baseball

2008-01-05T16:29:00.000-05:00

As recently as two years ago, I was considered an overzealous sports geek for organizing the NCAA basketball office pool each year. Nowadays, legions of even more zealous sports geeks play "fantasy sports," which put my little basketball pool to shame. Everywhere you look online, there are websites with fantasy sports "updates." The ESPNews ticker at the bottom of your television screen even occasionally provides them.

I don't claim to be an expert on fantasy sports, but my understanding is that these folks create their own "teams" by selecting real players and then following their stats. In other words, if your fantasy baseball team includes David Ortiz, you'd add Big Papi's stats to those of the other players you've selected to determine how your team performs. If you're yawning by now, don't worry, I am too.

I don’t mean to sound like a curmudgeon. I have nothing against fantasy sports, although I admit to being an old-fashioned team loyalist: if my team wins, I’m happy; if they lose, I’m pissed, and no imaginary team made up of players from far flung corners of the league is going to cheer me up.

But one aspect of the fantasy sports phenomenon does make me indignant: the impression of some devotees that it is a recent invention. In fact, fantasy baseball – and I would argue the best-ever fantasy baseball game – has been around for sixty five years. It’s nowhere on your computer screen, but it may well be in a musty old box hidden in the back of your closet.

I’m talking about All-Star Baseball, a board game manufactured by a company called Cadaco and first sold in 1941. Each player was represented by a small cardboard disk that fit onto a spinner; the disk was divided into pieces, like slices of pie, with each slice being one possible outcome of the player’s at bat. For example, one slice of the disk would be a strikeout, and another would be a home run. The size of each slice related to the likelihood that the player would hit into that play: Reggie Jackson, I remember, had a very large homerun slice, but an ever bigger strikeout slice, representing his actual performance on the field. You'd flick the spinner and wherever the arrow stopped, that's what the hitter did: homerun, strikeout, or any pie slice in between.

The game is simple, and brilliant, and totally satisfying in a way that online fantasy sports can’t be – in All-Star Baseball, you make the action happen yourself, in real time. Back in the 1970s, my brother and I never tired of flicking the spinner and seeing what Reggie, or Babe Ruth, or Dave Parker might do at the plate. We'd play full nine-inning games, our fingernails scuffed and bleeding by the end. We weren’t just tracking these superstars, we were channeling them.

And now I’ll sound even older: like so many wonderful, simple things from our past, you can’t find All-Star Baseball in stores any more. Ebay is your best bet, and then once you have the game board you can buy sets of cards of your favorite players or teams, or even a set of all 30 teams for a particular season.

So if you're going to play fantasy baseball, consider doing it the old-school way. Eat some jello to strengthen your fingernails, slip a David Ortiz or A-Rod disk onto the spinner, and start flicking. You'll feel like a kid again, I promise.

Fire Isiah Watch

2008-01-03T10:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, lets review: As of this writing, the Knicks have won 8 games and lost 22. Isiah Thomas is both the General Manager and the Coach of the team; he has acquired every single player on the roster, and guided them to their current state of indifference. Most of the Knicks’ losses have been blowouts, including a near-50-point loss to the Celtics. Oh, and just for good measure: Isiah was found by a federal court this summer to have sexually harassed an employee, forcing the Knicks’ organization to pay $11.5 million in damages.

Two weeks ago, Thomas said it would be fair to evaluate him as a coach after two weeks. Time’s up – the Knicks have won a single game in that two-week evaluation period, and lost five. Yesterday, Isiah declared that he was happy with the “direction” of the team, so he’d be staying on as coach.

All of this reminds me of a story about the famous early-Twentieth Century attorney, Clarence Darrow. According to legend, during a trial Darrow would smoke a cigar (in the courtroom!) while he was delivering his summation to the jury. He would consciously refuse to tap off the ash that was collecting on the end of the cigar as it burned down, thus forming an improbably long segment of ash that looked like it would fall to the floor at any moment. The jury would be riveted, unable to take their eyes off of Darrow’s cigar-chomping mouth. It turns out he actually lined each cigar with a thin wire, which held up the ash. Or so the story goes.

Like that jury, all of us Knicks fans are waiting for Isiah’s ash to fall. How does he keep it up? How has he not been fired yet? There must be some kind of trick, like Darrow’s wire.

Here’s another analogy: remember how Wile E. Coyote used to be lured off a cliff by the Roadrunner? He’d hang there in mid air, defying gravity, and hold up a sign that read “Help.” That’s Isiah right now, hanging in mid air. Please, please let him fall.

Likeability Index: NBA Teams

2007-12-30T16:25:00.001-05:00

Here’s a ranking of the 30 NBA franchises, from Most to Least Likeable:

1. San Antonio Spurs

2. Portland Trail Blazers

3. Phoenix Suns

4. Toronto Raptors

5. Boston Celtics, New Orleans Hornets

7. Detroit Pistons, Miami Heat

9. Cleveland Cavaliers, Orlando Magic, Utah Jazz

12. Charlotte Bobcats

13. Seattle Supersonics

14. Golden State Warriors, Washington Wizards

16. Dallas Mavericks, Houston Rockets

18. Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers

20. Chicago Bulls, Indiana Pacers, New Jersey Nets

23. Atlanta Hawks, Philadelphia 76ers, Sacramento Kings

26. Milwaukee Bucks

27. Memphis Grizzlies

28. Minnesota Timberwolves

29. Los Angeles Clippers

30. New York Knicks

Behind the Rankings: Methodology

I refuse to be just another depressed, hopeless Knicks fan. We all know the litany of abuses that has turned my team into an embarrassing laughingstock: management so incompetent that “incompetent” doesn’t do it justice (is “anti-competent” a word?); a clueless, impenetrable, offensive owner; pouting, overpaid, neurotic players; and a coach whose only remotely positive characteristic is that he’s less horrible as a coach than as a general manager (although that’s debatable). I could go on.

But I won’t. Instead, during the offseason I decided that I was through with the Knicks. I picked a new team to follow, the Charlotte Bobcats (I have family in Charlotte), ponied up for NBA League Pass on satellite TV, and now I ignore the old Orange-and-Blue and lovingly follow my new Orange-and-Blue.

Part of the reason I picked the Bobcats is because they seemed, for lack of a better description, likeable: young, full of energy and effort, unspoiled. The Bobcats have never in their three-plus years of existence made the playoffs, so they’re hungry for it at the same time that they’re refreshingly unjaded. Sure, they stink, but at least they try hard.

All this got me thinking: Is there some way of judging just how “likeable” each NBA team is? Clearly the Knicks are at the bottom, and I believe the Bobcats are toward the top, but it struck me that some measure of likeability might be helpful to the fan, like me, who is looking to see if his devotion to a particular franchise is well-founded. So I came up with what I think are some reasonable indicia of what makes a team worth rooting for, and I judged each of the 30 NBA teams on these bases. Each received a score (1-10) in 7 distinct categories: Star Players’ Attitude; City/Fans Appeal; Coach’s Competence; Management’s Competence; Ownership’s Decency; Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness; and Franchise’s History. Then, based on scandals or other headaches, each team had the opportunity to lose points (the Baggage category).

The Detailed Scores, with Commentary:

Atlanta Hawks

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 3

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 4

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 30

Comment: Nice players of the future in Josh Smith, Marvin Williams, Al Horford; an unproven coach, historically bad management, unsettled ownership; a luke-warm fan base in a too-hot city; dull uniforms – liked the splashy red and orange better. Probably will be more likeable in a few years.

Boston Celtics

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 5

Ownership’s Decency: 6

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 7

Franchise’s History: 9

Baggage: -3

Likeability Score: 42

Comment: Celts have made a 180-degree turn this year, with Garnett and Allen, which saved a poor GM and decent coach; other than the last few years, the history is second-to-none; fans are coming back; love the classic green unis. Alleged racial inhospitality gives them a bit of baggage.

Charlotte Bobcats

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 4

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 5

Ownership’s Decency: 7

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 6

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 39

Comment: No player more fun to watch than “Crash” Wallace; in general, they hustle; rookie coach says the right things but little results yet; not too confident in MJ as an operations guy yet, although trades for Richardson and Mohammed were positive; iconic owner; need more fans.

Chicago Bulls

Star Players’ Attitude: 4

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 2

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 4

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 6

Franchise’s History: 8

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 33

Comment: Thought this was the year, but no chemistry right now and lots of griping; fired a decent coach, but problems may run deeper; snazzy black and red unis; great history of championships with that MJ fellow.

Cleveland Cavaliers

Star Players’ Attitude: 10

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 3

Management’s Competence: 5

Ownership’s Decency: 6

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 7

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 40

Comment: LeBron is like a superhero, but manages to be a good guy too; trip to the Finals last year tempered by tough season this year; coach seems overmatched, GM did nothing to improve; broken-hearted sports city has embraced LeBron big time; love the throwback unis, especially the navy blue alternates.

Dallas Mavericks

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 4

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 4

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 35

Comment: Nice streak of strong seasons, but no hardware yet; Dirk seems to be a good guy; Big D still a football town; Mark Cuban is a nutcase, but the players and coaches like him; don’t care for the silvery-blue horse motif.

Denver Nuggets

Star Players’ Attitude: 5

City/Fans Appeal: 4

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 6

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 34

Comment: Melo and Iverson say all the right things, but the chemistry isn’t there; George Karl is one of those smart-but-grating coaches; haven’t made much progress recently, and no history here to speak of; the light-blue-and-yellow is a bit flashy, but better than the various patchwork uniforms of their past.

Detroit Pistons

Star Players’ Attitude: 6

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 8

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 7

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 41

Comment: Stars range from charismatic (Billups) to surly (Rasheed); not sold on Flip’s coaching, but Joe Dumars is one of the best GMs; lots of recent success here, including early ‘90s and ‘00s; glad they’re back to red and blue after a flirtation with teal, but nothing special as far as unis go. Bad Boys of the ‘90s give them some light baggage.

Golden State Warriors

Star Players’ Attitude: 6

City/Fans Appeal: 7

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 2

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 36

Comment: As with all of Nellie’s teams, strange bunch here: Davis is all heart, Jackson is a head case; great story last year, and continuing the success this year; fans are pumped up; uniforms are hideous, and impossible to describe the color scheme (brownish-blue, rust and gold?).

Houston Rockets

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 4

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 4

Franchise’s History: 5

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 35

Comment: Yao is terrific, and great for the game, but T-Mac is on the decline; neither seems much of a leader; they fired Jeff Van Gundy as coach, and now seem to have regressed; the organization had a great run in the non-Jordan, Olajuwon years, but haven’t lived up to their promise since; uniforms are a bit dandyish for my taste.

Indiana Pacers

Star Players’ Attitude: 4

City/Fans Appeal: 4

Coach’s Competence: 7

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 33

Comment: I guess the “star” of this team is Jermaine O’Neal, but they seem better without him; bad trades should have gutted them, but O’Brien is keeping them afloat; the building doesn’t rock like it did in the Reggie Miller days, but fans are still ok; nothing wrong with the simple blue-and-yellow kits.

Los Angeles Clippers

Star Players’ Attitude: 5

City/Fans Appeal: 3

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 3

Ownership’s Decency: 3

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 2

Franchise’s History: 1

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 22

Comment: The word “hapless” comes to mind; were respectable the last few years, but otherwise a history of futility; stars? What stars?; someday the uniforms will be stylish for their retro look . . . someday . . .

Los Angeles Lakers

Star Players’ Attitude: 1

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 7

Management’s Competence: 3

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 8

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 34

Comment: When he’s not committing adultery (or worse), Kobe’s complaining and demanding a trade; Kobe’s rape accusations, though dropped, give them a bit of baggage; Mitch Kupchak actually thought Kwame Brown could play; great tradition of winning, packed stands, and you can’t argue with Phil Jackson’s track record; garish purple and yellow have somehow become classic.

Memphis Grizzlies

Star Players’ Attitude: 6

City/Fans Appeal: 2

Coach’s Competence: 4

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 2

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 26

Comment: Was moving from Vancouver to Memphis really a step up?; made the playoffs once recently, but otherwise inept for a long time; Gasol seems to have peaked, and doesn’t play any defense; logo and colors are garbled and Canadian-looking; even Jerry West couldn’t prop up this franchise.

Miami Heat

Star Players’ Attitude: 7

City/Fans Appeal: 7

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 5

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 7

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 41

Comment: Recently won the championship, so you have to forgive a lot; Wade is dynamic, but Shaq is in his twilight and getting grumpy; Riley’s domineering ways seem to be losing some of these guys; I’ve come around on the blood-red uniforms; minus one point for the time Jimmy Buffet was too rowdy and was escorted from his courtside seat.

Milwaukee Bucks

Star Players’ Attitude: 7

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 3

Management’s Competence: 3

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 29

Comment: Weren’t they really good about a hundred years ago?; Michael Redd is a keeper, and Yi has lots of upside; I’m not sold on the coach, considering their ability to lose to anyone on any given night; some suspect trades (TJ Ford for Charlie Villanueva?); green and red uniforms are ugly every day except Christmas.

Minnesota Timberwolves

Star Players’ Attitude: 4

City/Fans Appeal: 4

Coach’s Competence: 4

Management’s Competence: 3

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 2

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 24

Comment: Kevin McHale is poster boy for good players becoming lousy GMs, although Al Jefferson might be special and then we’ll have to revisit this; never won a thing, even with KG in his prime; not much hope in sight; minus one point for McHale’s secret deal with Joe Smith that cost them draft picks.

New Jersey Nets

Star Players’ Attitude: 5

City/Fans Appeal: 3

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 4

Franchise’s History: 5

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 33

Comment: Even during a run of Finals appearances, couldn’t fill the Meadowlands; now aging and thinking seriously about breaking up their “big three”; blah colors, blah stadium, blah location; maybe when they move to Brooklyn they’ll generate some excitement.

New Orleans Hornets

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 7

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 6

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 42

Comment: Chris Paul is electrifying; New Orleans is hurting, but still one of the world’s great cities; but will the fans support the team enough to keep it there?; an underrated coach, and pretty solid management moves, from Paul to Chandler to West; I like how the uniforms took on a third color when they moved from Charlotte.

New York Knicks

Star Players’ Attitude: 1

City/Fans Appeal: 8

Coach’s Competence: 1

Management’s Competence: 1

Ownership’s Decency: 1

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: -4

Likeability Score: 19

Comment: A team that has sunk so low that the mythically devoted fans don’t even care anymore; you’d think this would be rock bottom, but with Dolan, Thomas, Marbury and Co., who knows?; dark days for the “World’s Most Famous Arena” . . . dark days indeed; minus two points for sexual harassment lawsuits, and minus another two for security kicking out fans who hold up “Fire Isiah” signs.

Orlando Magic

Star Players’ Attitude: 9

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 7

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 4

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 40

Comment: It’s hard not to like Dwight Howard, and harder not to recognize that he’s going to be one of the greats pretty soon; they overspent on Rashard Lewis, but he’s still pretty good; management picked a good coach (Stan Van Gundy), and was one of several teams that got better by unloading damaged goods on the Knicks in the last few years; pretty dull uniforms for such a sparkly name.

Philadelphia 76ers

Star Players’ Attitude: 4

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 3

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 2

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 30

Comment: Philly gets killed in articles every year about the weight and attractiveness of its residents; and they’re the same fans who threw snowballs at Santa; finally fired a terrible GM, so maybe things are looking up; nice history, with Dr. J and Moses Malone; uniforms are much too busy – the simple “Sixers” in block letters was vastly superior.

Phoenix Suns

Star Players’ Attitude: 9

City/Fans Appeal: 6

Coach’s Competence: 7

Management’s Competence: 7

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 6

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 46

Comment: These run-and-gunners are great fun to watch; Nash is the consummate point guard and back-to-back MVP; should’ve made a real run at a championship, and now that window’s closing; always seem to be competitive, which means good stewardship and coaching; yet another team that improved at the expense of the “sure, we’ll take that clubhouse cancer with an enormous long-term contract” Knicks.

Portland Trail Blazers

Star Players’ Attitude: 9

City/Fans Appeal: 9

Coach’s Competence: 8

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 7

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 50

Comment: Probably their best move recently was snagging an excellent coach, Nate McMillan; great young core, with Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge, and Greg Oden on the way back from injury next year; rabid fans in a terrific, laid back city; some history, too, with the 1979 championship; cool uniforms, even cooler team name.

Sacramento Kings

Star Players’ Attitude: 3

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 5

Management’s Competence: 4

Ownership’s Decency: 3

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 30

Comment: Used to fill the arena every night, but have fallen on hard times; their star player is Ron Artest, arguably the craziest man in sports; a thin roster, and they don’t seem to be doing anything to improve; “past their prime” is probably the best description; minus one point for constant speculation that the Maloof brothers want to move them to Las Vegas.

San Antonio Spurs

Star Players’ Attitude: 9

City/Fans Appeal: 8

Coach’s Competence: 9

Management’s Competence: 10

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 5

Franchise’s History: 8

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 54

Comment: The model franchise – superstars Tim Duncan and Tony Parker are good citizens; stability in a great coach; always seem to make the right draft picks; small city, devoted fans; keep winning championships, creating a dynasty; similar to their black-and-silver uniforms, though, something about them is, well, dull.

Seattle Supersonics

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 6

Coach’s Competence: 4

Management’s Competence: 5

Ownership’s Decency: 3

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 7

Franchise’s History: 6

Baggage: -1

Likeability Score: 38

Comment: At a crossroads: an emerging star in Kevin Durant and a young core, but terrible right now; great fans and history in Seattle, but will they stay?; PJ Carlissimo has yet to show that he deserved a second chance at coaching; resplendent in their green-and-gold retro uniforms; minus one point for the cloud hanging over them of a possible relocation to Oklahoma.

Toronto Raptors

Star Players’ Attitude: 9

City/Fans Appeal: 7

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 9

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 43

Comment: Great match between a cosmopolitan city and a team with international flavor; a bona fide star in Chris Bosh; smartest GM in the game, other than down in San Antonio; what are their team colors? Red and black? Purple and white? Blue? And the name – did the owner’s kid pick it after he saw Jurassic Park? And then design the uniforms?

Utah Jazz

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 7

Management’s Competence: 7

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 4

Franchise’s History: 4

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 40

Comment: There’s no better elegy to teams that move from one place to another than a team called the “Utah Jazz” . . . maybe someday we’ll get the “Ottawa Heat”; great draft picks, great coaching, great continuity; never won the whole thing, but always competitive; I guess eventually they had to get away from the original New Orleans colors, but three shades of blue? They could do better.

Washington Wizards

Star Players’ Attitude: 8

City/Fans Appeal: 5

Coach’s Competence: 6

Management’s Competence: 6

Ownership’s Decency: 5

Uniforms/Colors Attractiveness: 3

Franchise’s History: 3

Baggage: n/a

Likeability Score: 36

Comment: Back when they were the Bullets, the team had a contest to pick a new name, and inexplicably, “Wizards” won, despite my friend’s suggestion of “Washington Monuments”; Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler are great players and good guys; the offense is fun to watch – lots of motion and passing; they’re certainly better than the ill-conceived Jordan era, but you get the sense that they’re as good as they’ll ever be, so enjoy the excitement of getting to the second round of the playoffs while you can; do they have purses that go with the gold uniform tops?

Hating But Believing Clemens

2007-12-28T09:28:00.000-05:00

I can't stand Roger Clemens. I remember his dominating but bizarre performance in the 2000 World Series, which included him throwing the jagged barrel of a broken bat at Mike Piazza for no discernible reason. At the time, I thought Clemens was swept away by his notoriously competitive nature. Now, like most people who have followed the release of the Mitchell Report, I suspect Clemens' unprompted rage was fueled by steroids.

But I'm telling myself to pause. Evidence linking Clemens to steroids comes from the testimony of his former trainer, Brian McNamee, and McNamee is not a particularly savory character: he was facing possible criminal drug distribution charges of his own when he agreed to testify to Senator Mitchell, in return for immunity from prosecution.

Of all people, I should know better than to put too much faith in the testimony of a single informant. Seventeen years ago, my father was indicted for a federal crime of which he later was found innocent. The prosecutor's case hinged on the testimony of a single informant, a sleazy character who agreed to testify against my dad and his lawpartner - both high-ranking public officials at the time - in return for immunity from tax-evasion charges. My father was convicted, but his conviction was overturned unanimously and emphatically by a federal appeals panel. His indictment was front-page news; his exoneration, over a year later, was a two-paragraph item buried on an inside page. My dad lost his job and life savings to legal bills, neither of which he recovered upon his name being cleared. So I know the damage that an unsupported accusation can do.

Roger Clemens stands to lose his reputation, future endorsement revenue, and his previously assured spot in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Whether he is ever found guilty in the eyes of the law will be, for many people, an afterthought. I admit it wouldn't bother me in the least to find out that Clemens did in fact take steroids, and that many of his greatest performances were illegally enhanced and that therefore his entire legacy is tarnished. But we don't know that yet; all we know is that one former trainer, with a pretty good reason to shift a federal prosecutor's focus away from himself, has accused Clemens of using steroids. When I'm tempted to assume Clemens is guilty, I'll think of my dad, and of what people probably were saying about him when his name was in the newspaper. If and only if Clemens is proven guilty will I allow myself to gloat. Until then I'll just have to concede, despite my dislike of the guy, that he was one of the greatest pitchers of all time.

Just Call Him Scooter Bonds, or Maybe Merkle

2007-12-27T10:07:00.000-05:00

As most Americans know, baseball fans or not, Barry Bonds was indicted recently by a federal grand jury. In the public’s consciousness, the whole mess has something to do with steroids: Bonds shot himself up with illegal performance-enhancing drugs, he swelled up to cartoon-like physical proportions, he broke the single-season and career home run records, he got caught cheating and now he’s (potentially) going to go to jail.

That simplistic view is, of course, right on some level. The grand jury has seen enough compelling evidence that Bonds knowingly took steroids and then lied about it to allow the federal government to make its case in court against him. The fine print, though, is that the indictment is for perjury – that is, lying under oath in front of a previous grand jury – not for use of illegal steroids. In other words, they got him on a technicality.

It’s a serious technicality, mind you. Our system of justice is built upon the idea that people called to testify under oath must tell the truth. If they don’t, guilty people may go free, and worse, innocent people may be wrongly convicted. As a result, perjury carries serious consequences, such as jail time.

The federal government has a celebrated history of prominent prosecutions for perjury: think Scooter Libby. Or even Bill Clinton. While Clinton faced impeachment rather than criminal charges, like Scooter Libby and Barry Bonds, Clinton was caught not for the underlying offense, but for lying about it under oath. No doubt we all agree that perjury is a bad thing, but perhaps we’d also agree that it seems, somehow, less bad than the bad act that spawned the lying: extramarital sex with a dash of abuse of authority, in Clinton’s case; violating the secrecy of a federal agent for revenge, in Libby’s; and cheating, in Bonds’.

A criminal defendant is like a professional baseball player: at the end of the game he either wins or loses. And while every ballplayer will tell you that a win is a win, most fans will tell you that certain wins – the fluky ones, the games won on a technicality – don’t feel quite as good as the wins your team has earned.

The most infamous example of this kind of “technicality” happened at New York’s Polo Grounds on September 23, 1908. The Cubs and Giants were tied for first place in the National League, and were tied at one run apiece in the ninth inning of a critical head-to-head match up. The Giants’ third baseman, Art Devlin, stood on third base representing the winning run, after a timely two-out hit by 19-year-old Fred Merkle put him there. The next batter, Al Bridwell, laced a single to right field and Devlin trotted home, scoring the winning run (or so he thought). Merkle jubilantly turned from first base and jogged back to the dugout. Giants fans swarmed the field.

Shrewdly, Cubs’ second baseman Johnny Evers recovered the ball Bridwell had hit and stepped on second base. Legend has it that Evers then quoted “Rule 59” to the umpires, which required the runner at first to touch second base for the run to score. The umpires conferred and called Merkle out, nullifying the winning run, while the crowd danced obliviously. Later that night, National League President Henry Pulliam upheld the ruling, calling the game a tie. Three weeks later the Cubs and Giants were still tied in the standings, and they played a one-game playoff – the “Merkle Game”. Had Merkle stepped on second base three weeks earlier, the Giants would have been National League champs. Instead the Cubs won the playoff game four to two, and captured the pennant.

Seeing Barry Bonds indicted on perjury charges makes me feel like a 1908 Cubs fan. Sure, the feds have scored a legal victory over a guy we all believe used steroids. But the real question -- whether he is a cheater, not just a liar – will never, it seems, be decided in court, and that leaves me feeling as unsatisfied as that Cubs fan who has to admit that while his 1908 squad was the winner, it arguably was not the best team. If I had been alive back then, rooting for the Cubbies, I would have wanted to give the Giants the Merkle Game back and take my chances trying to win the pennant outright. These days, I guess I’m wishing that the feds had skipped indicting Bonds on perjury charges, and instead let baseball try to prove him guilty of cheating and strip him of his records. It’s a tougher case, no doubt, but it’s the issue we baseball fans really care about. Let’s try to win this thing the right way, not on a technicality.